hahaha, NICK JONAS. I love that he is such a BAD DANCER, like a regular little DUDE. (I think he throws up THE ROCK). So he rocks out a little in the DARK and it's GOOFY. ADORABLE.

And then GARBO. IS SHARING THAT LITTLE MOMENT. WITH HIM. UGH. SO CUTE. And making EYE CONTACT. With this stupid KID who likes BAD MUSIC. And is like, in genuinely rocking out to it.

And Garbo is a GROWN MAN. He should be seeing some good COLLEGE BANDS or something, not listening to Honor Society with Nick Jonas! AHAHA. SO SILLY.

I love it.

I just freed up 5 gigs on my mac. THAT FEELS SO GOOD.

But my computer keeps going to SLEEP without me wanting it to. WHY?

Nick Jonas and brothers have been playing softball games for charity at the last few tour destinations and today his team lost and he HAD A TEMPER TANTRUM and STOMPED ON HIS HAT.

I THINK. That's the rumor.

(ADORABLE!)

Where's the vid??

I've always made fun of fangirls who are starfuckers. Not because a fangirl wanting to sleep with a celebrity is a slut, but because wanting to sleep with someone just because they're famous is weird. There are a lot more attractive regular people in rl*, I don't know why you'd choose to throw yourself at some dude just because he was on a CW tv show.

But ranting and making fun and wanking about fangirls because they POSSIBLY MIGHT have SEX is really bullshit.

I think the wank this time around was the same old same old, but I noticed people harping about Fan 1's possible sexual experiences. Like her sexuality was something open for discussion, judgment, etc.

As women, our sexuality is always commodified and appraised by the opposite sex, and we gotta deal with that all the time. So it's sad that we also get this from each other. I think it was really fucking disturbing that anyone thought Fan 1's sexuality was of public domain to be gossiped about and evaluated. And that people could judge her as a good or bad person or fan based solely on this discussion. Whomever she (or anyone for that matter) chooses to have sex with or not is her/their business/to their discretion. Not a topic for wank.

Also, I think that one reason so many girls were so quick to believe those rumors and condemn her is because she's been said to be an attractive person. Fandom is such a fuckin' circle-jerk of body image issues. So if Fan 1 is cute and dresses up for a con, she's GOTTA be a slutface, those rumors must be true. WTF is that? Is that real? Were you all homeschooled?**.

I don't know this chick but I heard she locked down her lj because of this. I am sorry that a girl in fandom had the experience of being harassed on the basis of her sexuality and bullied into closing down her lj. And I'm sorry that no one else has thought that this is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Stupid jerks Suck one!

*Jensen Ackles being some weird, unnatural exception to that rule.
** not to offend those who were actually homeschooled

Edited to protect identity.

Sorry bitches! I'm just that awesome..

Don't worry. I did it for the lulz.

Oh, and it's probably not worth commenting on over there. It's lulzy as hell, but also a pretty lame ploy for attention. Bnf's don't have to work that hard. DO THEY? Why would anyone want to be a bnf if you gotta bust ass all the time for attention?

So I got named as a suspect for fandombnf by some anon and have been checking out the Epic Sock-off going on over there and saw THIS:

Oh lol Heidi, you really need to let your obsession with Brenda go already. She ain't never gonna fuck you and she ain't never gonna fuck your imaginary boyfriend. Stop whining that she doesn't want to play with you.

ahaha, oh come on. Does anyone really, actually believe that I'd have SAT on that information for THIS LONG and wasted it on an anon comment in a throwaway sock-journal?

Really! That is some EPIC-FANTASTIC right there! Riley Smith's phone number? AHAHAHA. What?

Also, I feel like, the belief that I'd have to post that ANON comes from some idea that I'd be afraid to talk shit about Brenda on my own lj.

Uh, have I ever been too afraid to talk shit about Brenda on my own lj? REALLY GUYS. I'm consistent enough.

Anyway, they're right though. Obviously all my irritation and dislike for Brenda is from repressed, unrequited attraction. It's a blatant case of the masochism tango. It hurts. I just wish she'd see. How much I care.

SPN fandom,

You're a rockstar. You go longer and harder and crazier than anything I've ever seen and I love that. I am now linking you to one reason why I'm in Jobros fandom now and why you should probably consider it too. I KNOW, I KNOW. There's a STIGMA. AND. You think I'm a bitchwhore.

Well, I can promise you that a.) the FUN quickly minimizes any embarrassment squick you might have felt BEFORE coming into jobros fandom and b.) most people in jobros fandom are really excellent, lovely, non-wanky, intelligent and friendly people. DON'T LET ONE BAD SEED RUIN IT.

For your consideration.

I'll be back with much more later!

On another note, I was lying down to put the baby-lady to sleep and she was sleeping and YAWNED in her sleep. People YAWN in their sleeps? OUTRAGEOUS!

From CUF:


nic k is FLAWLESS. like bb is just perfect. Also last night in Chicago, I took a shot to the face from Joe's foam gun (Kevin got me pretty good too). I took a picture and it looks like I straight up got jizzed on. so gross lol. I remember the foam being more foamy last year... but this time its wet and sticky and it stings when if gets in your eyes!!!!

OMG. Jonas Brothers. THAT IS SO BAD!

I went to type my password tonight and typed NESTOR instead.

(THAT IS REALLY BAD)

WOW. So that anon meme.

That was the first time I ever commented ACTUALLY ANON to a meme. And it feels BAD. I woke up with the baby and was like "THAT WAS BAD!"

Which is lame, because mostly I commented AT MYSELF on the meme and made fun of myself. Anon hate is so absurd and perverse, we all think we can get away with it but mostly we all know who we dislike in the community and who dislikes us and it's not that hard to guess who is behind that shit. Back during the brutal honesty meme, I got butthurt about some of the shit people were saying about me. Which was so stupid, because I KNEW who said it and they were probably right, I mean, they were people I'd wanked at before and had a stick up their asses about me...

So this time around, I half-assedly tried to play Gleeful Shitstarter, and said some wanky stuff about myself to get that ball rolling. But! It's probably NOT ACTUALLY NICE to contribute to pulling SPN fandom apart by the seams in order to encourage more people into Jobros fandom. NOT NICE.

I AM SORRY! I NEVER SAID I WAS A NICE PERSON.*

But anyway, anonymity is really seductive. I didn't stop at making fun of myself, I said a few mean things about other people and then goaded on some others in threads. BUT then I woke up this morning feeling like an asshole, and so I'm going to admit here who I wanked at. Because that's probably what this wank needs! MORE reveals!

WELL, I said something in passing about winterlive. SO, if you're in Trek fandom, you gotta take what you read about her with a grain of salt because if *I* said something mean, you gotta know that the other girls are probably JUST as biased about her as me. And she's probably not that bad. Except I dislike her very muchly. Except maybe she's cool in your fandom and she deserves to have as much fun there as anyone.

Then I said something mean about arabella_hope, which is shitty because I don't think we've ever directly had an issue with eachother. BUT I THINK SHE'S SNEAKY. But that's probably not my business.

AND then I laughed at the PETJA thing because THAT never gets old.

Hm. OH. And then I said something about ckll, but I don't think I feel bad about that one. SHE IS CRAZY. SORRY. She needs to stop stealing!

I can't remember any more. I think I accidentally called a few people some names, came out as a cathybites lover (like THAT'S unique), loved up missyjack, my OWN writing (NO ONE WAS MEAN. I wanted to hear some "SHE'S A HACK!" comments) and wondered whatever happened to flipmontigirl? Flimpmontigirl? If you're reading this? Send word of your state of affairs.

SO THAT IS THAT. I couldn't eat my wheaties until I came clean. Fuckin' anonymous memes.

KIDS! Anon will leave you with a bad taste in your mouth the next day, don't do it!

(OR. Do it and then come to Jobros fandom)

THE END.

ETA: OH, and I'm sorry about Panic At The Disco! Which was not my fault but I feel bad about it anyway and hope Panic fans are doing ok!

ETA 2: The FUNNIEST thing on the meme? Someone was going off in a comment about how they have EVIDENCE and PROOF and they're going to FIGURE SOMETHING OUT and someone commented with "IS THIS VERONICA MARS?"

AHAHAHA.I LAUGHED. SO MUCH.
*I might have said I was a nice person

WELL. I am a douchenozzle.

ALSO. REND YOURSELF APART, SPN FANDOM. And then send your homeless, huddled masses to JOBROS fandom. DO IT!

(YOU AL AND PINTO FANS BETTER STEP OFF. THAT SINKING SHIP IS OURS)

omg, navigating through SPN fandom these days is HARD. I'm really rusty! I have to keep stopping myself to check if I'm about to comment to someone I was wanky to.

I need to start keeping a list of people I pissed off so this awkwardness doesn't happen.

(ahaha, I HAVE ONE STARTED FOR JOBROS FANDOM ALREADY)

You know there's something GREAT about the current wank. HEAR ME OUT. It was rude and bitter and LAME, but obviously sort of...I mean, as a writer I kind of wanted to see them do ME. I want to LAUGH at how hilariously lame some of my fanfiction themes and plots and grammatical choices and shit are. UH. Because I'm pretty sure that it's hilarious that every other story I wrote in SPN fandom was like

"-And then there was hot fecundity and the fetishization of stereotypically traditional gender roles and then non-con and Dean liked it."

SO THERE WAS THIS OLD MEME? I heard? AND IT GOES LIKE THIS (eta: oh! and props to faunaana who rocks):

Pick any of my fics, and write the WORST possible description of it, and then I have to guess which fic it is.

GO!

And PARTICIPATE. Please? It'd be so much more fun than wanking-off on wank report.

I don't know how people can hate babies! And I don't mean like, awww they're so cuuute! How can you hate them? But like, they're just these little people. Iris might not talk but she's so expressive and has her own thing going on and personality and interests. I don't know! Babies can be annoying, sure, because they're high maintenance, but I've had friends with more obnoxious personal needs than a baby.

WHAT ELSE?

Also somewhat related?

( Nestor Carbonell! I bet you have beautiful children! )

SIGH.

I just spent friggin' 5 million hours updating my memories and tags with my jobros stuff. HOW CAN I DELETE WHOLE SECTIONS OF MEMORY, GUYS?

Ha, I was waiting for LJ to come back so I could rec Jobros stories. That's right, jerks. In the meantime, I was watching Nestor Carbonell on youtube. Don't tell the kids because we don't want to get anyone's hope up, but looks like things are BACK ON with my tv husband.

(what's really sad is that I'm only half-kidding about the VERY REAL INTENSITY of my crush. SAD)


Remember when I JUST recced the first part of 2oclockcheckout's Sam/Nick post-apocalyptic story. Well, if you were waiting to read it when she DELIVERED um. You can go read it now. This link is to part two but she links the first part at the top, so click through. It is SO GOOD. UGH. LIKE, ridiculously hot and DIRTY. A little dub-con but in a FANTASTIC way. UGH. Her Nick is so SWEET and her Sam is so BIG and rough and manly and INTENSE. Please read this.

Then read eggshellseas Not By Inches, which is a Joe/Nick fic. I think she's one of the best writers in this fandom. Her writing is so clear and unadorned but GOOD. To the point and SMART, so there are no ridiculous extended metaphors getting in the way of her story. NO PURPLE-PROSE SHIT HERE, OK? Just GOOD LANGUAGE and CLARITY and beautiful characterization. This one follows Joe through the development of his sexual identity and how naturally it gets all tied up with Nick and Nick's own sexuality. It's just...fantastic and DIRTY, but STILL poignant. YES, that's POSSIBLE, people.

OK, read these and then report back to me. THANK YOU.